Christian Matrimonials

By Kelly Purden

 Undoubtedly, in the net today, there are so many teens that are also looking for love. For some parents this circumstance can be nerve-racking especially if the person your teen-ager is dating a stranger. Teen-agers are usually vulnerable and impulsive that is why if they are not properly guided when it comes to teen dating techniques, most probably they will end up miserable. But as a parent, no need for you to worry anymore because there are so many techniques that you can do so your teen-ager can have a safe and fun teen dating experience.

Today, there are so many dating sites that cater the adults; however, there are also teen dating sites where the young adults can join. This is one of the safest ways to enjoy teen dating especially if you are the kind of person who is not yet ready for serious dating. Online teen dating can be fun because you get to talk to your prospect date without the fear of getting close physically to him. When you are on an online teen dating site and chartrooms, it is important that you say your age honestly because if you state your true age, and when the people you are chatting with will know that you are just a teen-ager, chances are they will treat you well for fear that they will be in trouble if they do otherwise.

Teen dating should not be tricky nowadays because there are so many cool places that your teen-agers can go to in order for them to have the most memorable date of their life. If you want to keep it safe and fun at the same time, the best way to achieve this is to have double dates. Ask some of your trusted friends to go with you on dual date. And when it comes to spots where to go, one of the best choices is the public park. In Public Parks there is a good chance that your date will not do something bad towards you because there are so many people around you.

Another place that is safe when it comes to teen dating is in your own home. It is very beneficial not only for your teen-ager but for you as well because you will not have to stress yourself thinking about them while they are gone. The parents can be able to supervise the activities that the teens are doing. Teenagers can do a lot of things in their house; if you like baking, ask your date to lend you a hand as you embark on your baking endeavour. This way, you will also find out if the person you are dating will be a good boyfriend.

Teen dating stage is an important event of anyone’s life that’s why it should be given extra attention because if the parents fail to address some of the problems that are associated in teen dating, it could end in a miserable situation. There are so many possibilities that could go wrong if the teen dating process goes wrong.

Want a FREE Award Winning guide on How To Get Women Quickly? Visit http://www.OnlineAttractionSecrets.com to receive Kelly’s FREE quick start guide on teen dating.

Mom’s Best Relationship Advice and Tips for Finding Love!
By Deborrah Cooper

 In the mid-1960s, Motown great Smokey Robinson (backed up by his group The Miracles) topped the R&B charts with “You Betta Shop Around!” Goes something like this:

‘There’s some things that I want you to know now

Just as sure as the winds gonna blow now

The women come and the women gonna go now

Before you tell ‘em that you love ‘em so now

My mama told me…’you better shop around’

Don’t Settle for the First Thing That Comes Along

“Well the best thing my mother has told me is watch out for fast women!” said Steve, a 39 year old bachelor with a wry smile. “She told me that long ago. Said they often turn out to be women you basically would not want in the long run. But wow, fast women sure are fun!”

Krystal, now 55, was raised in a home with adultery quite a bit of physical abuse. She and her sisters witnessed her mother being hit many times over the years under her parents divorced when she was 16.

“Divorce wasn’t common in those days, and my mom changed after that. She told me to never settle, ever. She said that while she was raised at a time where women weren’t free to do a lot of dating and getting to know different men, that she didn’t want any of her daughters to be caught in that stale pool. She told me to respect myself, never let anyone (including men) disrespect me… but to enjoy myself and enjoy life.”

Her youngest sister Katherine added: “Mom advised that I should get to know ME first and what I liked/disliked because I could never express to someone else what was right or wrong with the way our relationship was if I didn’t know what it took for me to be happy and satisfied. She reminded me that I had a whole lifetime to fall in love, and encouraged me not to rush into love because I felt it was what I was expected to do or had to do (ya know how some young women will talk themselves into being in love when they become intimate with a man?). Then she told me not to wear too much “rouge” (blush)… because men would never marry a woman that looked loose! LOL!”

At 27 Antonio is hot on the hip hop music scene in Los Angeles. His parents immigrated from Bolivia in the 1970s. “Look, 80 percent of the things my mother says I don’t agree with. Maybe it’s because she’s a woman, but when it comes to relationships she is the judge, jury and executioner! Bring yo gurl or potential gurl around and I’ll be damned if Mom doesn’t expose her for the Princess she is or the tramp she is within 30 seconds flat!

The point I’m tryin’ to make is that parents know the game because they seen it all. A father will read yo man like a book and a mother will give you the 411 on the so called woman of yo dreams. You might not want to hear it but hey, that’s how it is.”

Fathers stepped in to fill in the blanks when Mom didn’t have relationship advice for her offspring. “My mom didn’t specifically give me any advice on love, I’m more so a product of my father’s training” wrote Dionne, a 30 year old marketing rep from Dallas.

“When I was about 9 or 10, I remembered my Dad telling me that when I grew up, I mustn’t allow any man to treat me badly…and I haven’t so far. My father also always allowed me to have the best of anything he had to give or share with me. For example, if he had some fruits, and I wanted any…he would pick out the best looking ones or pieces and offer them to me, and keep the lesser ones for himself. For better or worst, I think I grew up to subconsciously use that standard to judge any man I become involved with. If I don’t see/believe that they consistently take the initiative to always offer me the best…then I know that their time is limited, because I won’t really trust their alleged love for me.”

Don’t Make My Mistakes!

Not all the advice received from Mom was positive. Sherilyn sent an email to share the dating tips learned from her mother. “From my mother I heard: ‘Don’t use me as an example in love, I make horrible choices and have suffered in love.’ She is very, very correct in that statement. Though I’m an accomplished person in my professional life, sadly I modeled a lot of my dating behavior after her and make horrible choices in men too.”

Carmen’s mother focused on self-esteem and acceptance. “From my mother I learned ‘A man will treat you as well as you INSIST, and as badly as you ALLOW.’ And from my father ‘everyone you meet can teach you SOMETHING, even if it’s only whom to AVOID!’

The Dirty Dozen Top 12 List

Many of the tips that came in were very popular, as they were provided by dozens of Moms to their sons and daughters. Here, in no particular order, are the most commonly quoted 12 pieces of advice:

1) Don’t play yourself short. It’s better to be the Mrs. than the Mistress!

2) Don’t love him…but like him. Romance is for weaklings…it clouds your thinking.

3) Pick your battles…don’t be a nag to your man.

4) Men pay for sex one way or another. It’s always better to be the Mrs. than the Mistress!

5) Don’t tell a man everything… they can’t handle it. Don’t reveal everything unless you wanna deal with b.s. all the time.

6) Learn the art of forgiveness. Don’t bring up the past…unless you wanna deal with b.s. all the time.

7) Always keep “car fare” when going out on a date.

Always have a stash of your own money. Keep a savings account in your own name (even when you get married).

9) Never give out personal vital information on the first date.

10) Trust and Respect are EARNED not a GIVEN.

11) If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with!

12) It’s just as easy to love a rich man/woman as it is to love a poor one!

Mothers are very influential over their children. Some of us take the lessons and use them, some of us discard every one of Mom’s words as being bogus and choose our own path.

Without courage and risk of heartache, you cannot achieve the glory and wonders of love. Use Mom’s teachings as a guideline on when and how to give of yourself, maintain personal boundaries of respect, and keep in your life only men and women that give as good as they get.

(c)2008 Deborrah Cooper. Deborrah has authored dozens of relationship articles and advice columns on Ask HeartBeat!, which focuses on modern relationships for teens and adults. Her dating guide Sucka Free Love! provides street-smart, hilarious insight into the toughest issues facing singles today. Check out The Sucka Free Dating Radio Talk Show on Wednesday night at 7:00 pm PST.

Communication is All About Time
By Julia Solomon

 It does not matter how old you are, how long you have been married, or how full of a daily schedule you and your spouse may happen to have– for a troubled marriage to be reborn, or for an adequate marriage to be improved, after good communication the second most important factor is Time!

In order to thrive, a relationship needs attention; and in order to thrive, so do both partners!

These days we often hear a lot about “quality time.” In many cases, however, this comes to mean trying to squeeze as much as possible into a small amount of time allotted for it. People whose everyday lives and schedules are full to the overflowing point with job and family obligations usually consider this to be the only alternative; but there are also many whose personal interests, hobbies and pastimes take precedence, leaving the marital relationship to be resigned to this version of “quality time.”

There are two problems associated with this concept. First, obviously, pre-scheduled quality time is simply not enough. However, the other significant factor in attempting to have a marital relationship without giving enough time to it is that when one spouse or both begins to see that neither the relationship nor he or she is a priority anymore, both the relationship and the spouse will suffer from the neglect.

If you think back to your early days with your spouse, you were in the majority if you and this person wished and attempted to spend every minute together. In a healthy, normal relationship, “I only have eyes for you” is indeed a truism– there was nothing and no one that could compare with your new partner, nothing and no one that could pry your attention away from this person!

As is the case for normal, healthy couples, this begins to change. In most instances it is a matter of needing to work, tending to family responsibilities, and even having one’s own particular interests and friends which causes the spouses to shift their focus off of each other and off of their relationship.

If you are preparing to reconstruct your marriage, rebuilding that initial relationship is necessary. One very important point which many in this situation miss, however, is that while being more generous with your time is essential, getting back to the way it was in placing more emphasis and focus on your partner is also essential. As the quickest way to cause a substantial feeling of neglect

Is to make that person feel as if he is not as important to you as he used to be, reemphasizing the fact that he is indeed a priority in your life will do wonders to bring the sense of connection and joy back into your marriage!

If you truly want your marriage to be the very best that it can be, you cannot afford to be stingy with your time! Granting someone an hour per week, after all of the “more important” factors in your life have been taken care of, simply will not do it.

If you are like most people, you probably do not have the faintest clue in how to get more time for your spouse in your already-full schedule. The theory is correct: if you cannot find the time, you must make the time. We all know that finding free time is a luxury which most of us do not have; so if you look at it in those terms, you are not giving it a chance.

Instead, seeing your spouse and your relationship as a real priority in your life which you must make time for is the key. Perhaps you can look at it in a manner similar to the way in which you view your job: it is necessary, it is good, and the time will be taken for it.

If you have come to or past the point where spending a significant amount of time with your spouse is something which you have not done for a long period of time, it may feel like an unfamiliar venture. We all know people who have been married for many years, and rarely see each other because one or both individuals are “too busy.” Perhaps this describes you– or perhaps you see yourself heading in this direction, and are unsure as to what to do about it.

In addition to setting your spouse and your relationship as a priority again in matters of giving enough time, what you do with that time is also relevant. For example, you may know couples, such as retired older people, who spend a great deal of time together, yet do little together and have little to say to each other!

While being in each other’s presence is generally a good thing in itself, simply “being there” can benefit from a little boost. While planning in advance for what you wish to do is not always a good idea, having something in mind can be quite helpful.

If you are as many people who have full schedules and little time, it is most beneficial if the time you put into your relationship is focused on your “togetherness.” There is an aspect of this which many do not consider– and that is that there are two very different manners in which couples spend their time together. One is a matter of focusing on each other; the second is a matter of putting more focus onto activities and/ or other people. And even though both are good, the former is much more helpful when the basic goal is to regain communication and togetherness.

If you are uncertain as to what this means, and what the difference is, you can think about it this way: if you and your spouse go out to dinner, a movie, a party, or participate in an activity, your general focus is on the activity. You are not giving your spouse the attention he or she may need, nor communicating effectively, when the focus is on enjoying a movie or interacting with other people at a party!

Having and sharing common interests, taking part in hobbies and pastimes, and socializing with other people is important to the individual as well as to the couple. However, viewing it as a significant part of “couple time” or “togetherness time” is a mistake, because it cannot fulfill that purpose. Instead, granting your spouse your undivided attention is the factor which will help this all-important person to realize that he or she still takes center-stage in your life!

For tips on relationship breakup and trust in a relationship, visit the Relationship Guide website.

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