The Comfort of A Male Massage Therapist (christian wedding history)
By Dallas Dougan
It is easy to understand how it might be uncomfortable to receive a massage from a stranger. Many of us have never sought a professional massage for this very reason, even though we recognize that it would feel good and be very healthy. Many men feel nervous that they will become sexually aroused during a massage intended to be physically therapeutic, and worry about the embarrassment of an unwanted erection. This is why many men prefer to receive their massage from a fellow man, to avoid any wandering thoughts that could tense them up and distract them from alleviating their physical tension.
Gay men often feel similarly uncomfortable receiving a massage from a straight man, but at the same time have trouble feeling physically connected to a female masseuse. The solution for gay men is to find a gay masseur to massage them, but this can be easier said than done. Many massage parlors prefer not to advertise themselves as “gay friendly” for fear of scaring away their straight clients. Meanwhile, potential gay clients are intimidated by the services that are available.
No matter whether you are a straight, gay, or bisexual man, there are some clear benefits to the experience of receiving a massage from another man. For a straight man, there is the experience of non-sexual intimate contact with another man that can help to alleviate feelings of insecurity and to boost self-esteem. Men often feel that they cannot connect intimately with other men because they failed to establish deep, open relationships with their own fathers. The psychological turmoil that remains can last for a lifetime and can interfere with promising and profitable social and business relationships.
For a gay man, there is also an element of being a part of a disenfranchised, even ostracized social group. It can be very difficult to have the types of trusting and open feelings towards others that facilitate muscle relaxation, making for a good and relaxing massage. Knowing that your masseur is also a gay man can help you to feel connected and comfortable enough to enjoy the health benefits of massage and also the psychological benefits of intimate platonic contact.
Every man should experience the comfort and fulfillment of receiving a massage from a trained male masseur. The psychological benefits of comfortable, nonjudgmental intimacy with another man can hardly be overestimated. The physical benefits of massage are well-known, but the body must be ready to receive the massage for maximum benefit. Any situation with is conducive to increased relaxation will also help to increase the physical benefits of the massage, and hormonal and pheromonal compatibility between men who share a similar purpose can also be highly therapeutic.
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Dallas writes about gay male massage in Chicago and other types of Chicago massage.
How Can You Trust In Relationships After Separation?
By Ben Needles
Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have lovd at all so Tennyson tells us.
But there are many now who would disagree with him. Time after time we hear of those whove loved and then endured the pain of separation. This appears to scar some people for life.
The question is not only can you love after separation, but how can you ever trust in relationships again after separation?
First, lets dispel the notion that its easier for the person who leaves to pick up the threads of a new life - especially a new love life. Both of you will have had your trust in relationships shaken. Unless that person is psychologically unbalanced, (which does, of course, happen), separation from a loving partner is not something that most men or women undertake lightly - even in our throwaway society.
Separation from someone you love - however caused, and whoever is the leaver and the left - is always painful. The types of pain may differ, thats all. For example, the person who leaves may suffer guilt, anxiety, massive self doubt and recrimination, not to mention regret and grief.
The person who has been left of course will feel grief too, plus also self doubt, low self esteem, anger - even rage, and perhaps jealousy, especially if theres another party involved in the break up.
So you both hurt, lets make no bones about it.
Here are my tips for learning to trust in relationships again:
* First, let yourself grieve. Its not going to be forever - nothing is. But you need to let it happen. Get counselling if you need to, but weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth are going to be there for the first few weeks probably.
Maybe six months or so later youll still get the odd wave of it. The point is, dont fight it. That just makes it worse because you focus on it more. If you allow it to play itself out, the effect will eventually be like the sun coming out after a storm.
* Second. After a major separation from a love affair, treat yourself to non-cerebral things. By that I mean you cant heal the pain of separation and loss by thinking about it. A shiatsu massage, on the other hand, can make you feel wonderful - even if the effect only lasts for a few hours. (By the way, this is as much for the men as for the ladies - we all need to feel good! The answer - again for either gender - is most definitely not in getting wasted every night with drink! That makes you feel stupid and ill!)
* Avoid vengeance on yourself. Its very tempting to go off looking for love substitutes following a separation. This can take the form of promiscuity, alcohol or drug abuse, or some other form of self harm. This is misplaced and displaced anger. Anger is part of loss, grief and heartbreak, but beat up a pillow, talk to a therapist - or if you cant find one or afford one - phone the Samaritans! You dont have to be on the verge of suicide to talk to them - and they really will help.
* Avoid taking out vengeance on your ex. This will again make you feel bad and, depending on how you do it, could even land you in court or jail. Actually, you wont hurt the other person as much as you think if at all - youll only make yourself look and feel stupid. Its your anger, so its your problem. The antidote is to reach for the next most comforting thought, which may not be the most noble at this stage, but could be something as simple as, I wont always feel like this. Or, (a good one), Actually, its her/his loss. Im a wonderful person. Then have a good gloat!
* Finally, the place to look for love after separation is within yourself. You cant regain happiness by trying to take the other persons life apart. Their not being with you anymore is your signal for a fresh beginning and a pause in your life to re-evaluate what you really want for your love life - maybe for the next five or ten years, (or weeks or months!), or perhaps forever.
Learn to love yourself again. Look for the good in you, not the bad in the other. Acknowledge it, accept it, and soon youll love it - thats you - again.
And thats the beginning of restoring your trust in relationships, love and life!
About the Author (text)
Trevor Emdon is an expert on relationship trust and other self help issues. Check out http://www.trust-in-relationships.com for details of his latest book and free reports.
Become Successful In OnlineDating
By rodrigo rehn
Online dating takes a little more effort to make relationships work because here the person is not present in front of you, nor is he one among the circles that you move around or hang with.
The success rate of online dating depends entirely on personal discretion and use of instincts and common sense. Online dating does provide a plethora of choices, it may even mislead you at times but that does not mean that it is not worth giving a try.
People have developed healthy relationships following a few cautious rules. Some have even gone ahead to tie the knots. If you are intending to find a suitable partner for yourself then follow some of our tips on how to become successful in online dating.
A good profile with a photograph
Photographs attract the attention before words do. So this is one of the key points of becoming successful in online dating. Upload a good clear picture of yours which will help to grab the attention of companion seekers.
The profile should be simple and eye catching without too many details regarding your family or occupation or interests. Mention the vital points in your profile so that like=minded people can match their own statistics with yours and make them respond accordingly.
Avoid mass mails and use your own style
Most of the people commit the mistake of contacting several people at the same time and generally send mass mails to all of them.
This method can backfire. Your hunt for your prospective partner is for your personal need. Thus to communicate you need to add that personal touch of yours. It has been proved worldwide that nothing moves a person more than a personal note. Add your own individuality in the mails so that the person sees something unique in you and does not hesitate to respond to you.
Politeness goes a long way
When you are trying to start a conversation or a chat with your online partner make sure you add a dash of politeness and courtesy. This will further your prospects of receiving a faster and positive response. Politeness portrays your personal traits like patience and tolerance which is very important to become successful in online dating.
Do not be pushy
At times you may feel like this is the right person for you and you end up asking details which your online partner may hesitate to give. Just because you feel they are the right ones for you, does not mean that they feel the same about you.
Give them time. Do not rush into things and spoil your chances. Being pushy also gives the impression of you being desperate. At the same time be careful not to share too much personal information regarding you also.
Be honest
Do not hide facts about yourself like your age, or your occupation or that you are a single parent. Your honesty will help people to identify with their own needs and save you from many unpleasant situations.
Rodrigo Rehn is a Linux Systems Administrator, Web Programmer, PHP Developer and CEO of FaceRomance online dating services for singles.
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